Friday, August 05, 2005

Resisting the urge to hyperventilate

Augh! Augh! I just received the unofficial guide to my Big English University (for the sake of being able to write about it in the future without upsetting anyone, I'm going to leave it unnamed...). Here's a sample of what I'm supposed to cope with once I'm unceremoniously belched out of the airplane into the terminal...

Getting to BEU from central London: Take the train from King’s Cross to BEU. Try to get an express. About GBP 17 unless you have a young person’s railcard (you have to be under 26 to be eligible for one or have proof of being a student.) You can get this right at the train station or from the Graduate Union Shop for GBP 20 and it saves you 1/3 off rail fare for a year. You will need two passport photos with you. If you plan on going to visit London or really anywhere at all in England, be sure to pick up the railcard early in the year, since the savings really will add up. If you’re over 26, the rail station requires a letter from you college confirming that you are indeed a student. You can also get a Young Person’s rail card by showing an International Student Identity Card. I know you’ve mentioned this later, but it might be worth mentioning it here. The Graduate Union Shop, however, only requires you to show your blue university card and the wait is normally much shorter.

Passport photos?? College letters?? What the heck is a blue university card?!? And what's with the two-person dialogue going on at the bottom of the paragraph? Is it talking to me? What did I say to it??

Suddenly, my brain is pulsing against my skull with insistency, but there's nothing I can do to comfort it. Oh my god, what have I done? I'm trading in my secure little life for a blue university card, rainy weather and questionable vegetarian food. And the sick thing is? I can't wait to get started.

Except for the whole "getting from London to BEU" bit. Maybe I can develop a teleportation device in the next five weeks...

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