My head is spinning...

There is indeed such a thing as too much good news. At least, too much when strings come attached.

For example, grad school. Funding is great, but the stipulation is that I have to leave the country for it - more difficult than it sounds when my friends and family have always been my life.

Then, there's marriage. The love of my life and I have to spend three years sleeping in separate towns to make this grad school thing work -- and, while it is still better than the original nightmare, to be apart in Boston and California, I still find myself dying inside a little whenever I think about being away from him for more than a day or two. Funny how the ultimate lonester girl doesn't really savor total solitude anymore. We'll have approximately every other weekend together, but it still isn't easy.

A lot of things are like that right now. I feel like I have too much to process -- nothing's really had a chance to sink in, but I don't have time to ponder it, either. I regret that tremendously, but I'm not sure how else things could have fallen into place. As it is, I'm exhausted and overwhelmed, trying to reconcile what I wish for with what must be.

Sorry to be on such a downer tonight. Life's like that.