Wednesday, May 11, 2005

What I learned today

This is sans-television, books, magazines and radio, might I note:

1. Unintentionally stepping on a large pile of bubble wrap will scare the hell out of you.
2. Those Mr. Clean Magic Erasers really work. They don't just remove the scuffs from your walls - they take care of that pesky paint on them, too! No deposit back for me...
3. If you provide a tortoise with an empty paper bag, you can leave it unattended for hours as it revels in its new fortress.
4. There is nothing on the internet that merits a whole day of searching for it.
5. Milk really shouldn't be left in the fridge for two weeks past its due date. Being too busy moving is not an excuse.
6. My neighbors are the noisiest people anywhere. They must stampede around in steel-toed boots. They are also deaf, judging by the volume of their alarm clocks.
7. Sometimes, it's better not to clean spots off the apartment doors. It makes the filthiness of the unblemished door parts more obvious.
8. Burner pans accumulate alien food particles like nothing else in this world. It's better to pry them out and throw them in the trash than to destroy several brillo pads trying to make them shiny clean.
9. It is not wise to practice one's backwards tango walk during the final stages of a move, unless you enjoy turning your ankles on packing tape and binder clips.
10. Moving boxes will not relocate themselves to another vacant apartment when you are done using them. Instead, they occupy vast amounts of floor space and make it impossible to actually move anything.

I just looked around an empty room in an effort to find something interesting. Apparently, I've reached the hallucinogenic stage where I expect my tortoise to talk back to me. Poor FH - it's not his fault that he's stuck at work until midnight, but I don't think I'd want to come home right now if I were him. By the very fact that he isn't a floorboard or a bare spot on a wall -- but a living, breathing, interactable being -- he'll be so interesting that I'll have to follow him around for hours.

2 comments:

Kelli said...

Y haven't you actually moved in to your parents house yet??? But hey, making up dance moves always takes up lots of my time :)

Meg said...

We don't have to be out until the 15th, and with work schedules it's been really hard to get things out on time...plus, half the stuff has to go to Wenatchee, so that's taken up a few days...we'll be out before long... :p