I'm not someone who "feels" things on a deep level. I tend to have quick flashes of intensity -- happiness or anger, angst or sorrow -- but nothing really lingers for more than a little while.
That's why this whole wedding/best friend going to Kansas/moving out of the country extravaganza has thrown me for a loop. I've never experienced so many consecutive extreme highs and dramatic lows in the space of a few months. The right song will make me burst into tears; the right movie make me laugh like I've just discovered how to enjoy life. I might be driving home from an incredible night out with a friend and find myself in tears, knowing this could be the last time I see her again. It's not mania: it's finally allowing all of these changes to register internally, opening myself up to all of the joy and pain that accompany life-changing moments.
It's terrible.
It's amazing.
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