Thursday, March 08, 2007


Disclaimer One: if you're family, by blood or marriage, I'd appreciate it if you skip this one. It's definitely for friends and blog buddies only. Thanks.

Things aren't so good right now. I feel like a broken record sometimes, but I'm not sure what else I can do. I could definitely use some advice from friends here: say you have a job, and it's a foot in the door to a rather small, fairly exclusive field. But it's in a three-person office with a less-than-shoestring budget, and your job could really be filled by two full-time people, and you never even got trained officially, and at the end of the day you come home and realize just how upset you are because the slightest thing kinda makes you flip out.

But it's a job, a job with responsibilities, a job that might actually get you somewhere else someday. It's a job where leaving right now would be a terrible thing to do to them, because you're in the middle of a massive project that no one else is going to be able to pick up easily. And yet, you are tired. You are so very, very tired, and a little voice in the back of your mind is realizing that you've been tired for a couple of years now. Every time, you fight through it, telling yourself that you just have to grit the teeth for one last push, and then you'll finally get a break. That break? It still hasn't come -- and as stupid and weak as you feel, you just don't know if you can actually push through again because the exhaustion, it's maybe bigger than you. It saps your energy, drains your writing, makes you want to curl up and sleep until everything just resolves itself. You hate feeling that way. You can't fix it. But you're afraid to leave the job anyway.

So what the hell do you do? I'm too tired to think straight, and I keep traveling the same circles without finding a side channel out of here.

4 comments: said...

Go to bed. Take the weekend off. See how you feel on monday.

You only get one life, and you have no idea how short it may be. One of my friends said to me recently that she would never do a job for ten years so she could retire early, in case she didn't even get the chance to retire. However it's all relative really, and there does have to be some sense of getting someone and you can't just leave because of that.

Consider other options and alternatives, because even though you're living for THEN you're also living NOW, and that's just as, if not more than, important.


Kid Sis said...

Ohhhh, the above advice is fabulous. In general, I think if you're slogging through mud, it's probably not right placement. Ask yourself if this is your current dream. I know it's something you've worked towards for years, but sometimes we shift and don't notice it. If you could create any job you wanted right now, what would it be? What would your life look like?

Two sites to check out:
What's Up On Planet Earth

Brightest Careers for 2007

Anonymous said...

Many kisses and hugs, my dear. Many, many of them...

~Your Stanford Chum

ecogrrl said...

You all rock. Stanford Bud, dearest, I actually thought long and hard about what you said. You were so right for about 90% of circumstances...but mine fell into the other 10% two days ago, and that was enough. But I am *not* taking you off my advice list.

Much love to each of you.