Friday, January 12, 2007

Things I never envisioned explaining

Parental Unit (Male), riffling through this week's edition of the Stranger, which I mistakenly left on the coffee table:

"Look, they have their summarized takes on all of the 2008 presidential candidates."

Proceeds to read a few out loud to Parental Unit (Female), who is pointedly ignoring him. Reads anyway.

Dad: "Barak Obama: junior senator from Illinois; bestselling author; totally fuckable former coke and pot user."

Mom: "What? Former what?"

"Coke and pot user."

"Oh, yeah, that. It was all over the news a few months ago. We heard it already."

Dad, perplexed: "Yes, but what does 'totally fuckable' mean?"

Me: contemplate lengthy, detailed explanation which would include summaries of Dan Savage and Savage Love, as well as the 'Barak Obama Does Your Mama' satirical piece. Think about the latest letters to Savage Love, which included graphic descriptions of wives-of-cuckolds being 'bred' in front of their mates.

"Daughter? Honey? Do you --"

"What? No, Dad, I don't read that kind of stuff -- jeez, I mean, the thing is, there's this gay columnist, hey, has anyone seen my front door key? I think I dropped it somewhere last night. Better go look because you never know who might...um...pick it up...off our...um, floor."

2 comments:

SUEB0B said...

As the witch from Wizard of Oz said, while melting: "What a world, what a world!!" That's how I often feel when I see the sad bewilderment in my parents' eyes.

Meg said...

lol...that's a perfect image, Suebob. Why can't I write like you? :)