Sunday, January 07, 2007

Are you getting somewhere

Sorry, sorry! I'm relieved and surprised that anyone's expecting me to post, but I also feel bad for failing to meet my self-imposed deadline. Things are just a little hectic around here. I'm not coping well with the husband's impending absence, and so everything else (phone calls, emails, holiday cards and blog posts) has fallen by the wayside. It should pick up once he's away, as I'll be trying to find things to do that fill the lonely hours. For now, I've been trying to brainstorm some New Year's resolutions...

Resolution One: Prove to the world that my career title is *not* Permanent Admin Assistant. I have more job applications floating around my field now. Getting into that world matters to me: I need to discover what my options are within it before I determine whether I should be going back to school for a policy degree, a resource management degree, or something else altogether. I also can't imagine doing anything else at this point in my life, which I thought I'd never say. I'm a little depressed because I'm running into the "You are over/underqualified" trap, and no one seems to care that overqualified can also be interpreted as will be the *most* qualified and yet still willing to work for crap to gain a little experience. C'mon, people!!

Resolution Two: Do everything I can to keep this LDR functional. This includes lots of handwritten letters, spontaneous gifts, daily phone calls (stupid time zones), and the occasional racy e-photo. ;)

Resolution Three: Finish my damn book. I got stuck in December when we decided I was moving back, but CB insists that it's worth finishing and I just need to think up an approach to a sticky conflict/catharsis chapter. I want a finished draft by mid-year and a "real" draft by December so I can inflict pain upon friends and potential agents just in time for the holidays.

Resolution Four: Bike more. Headwinds, psychotic Seattle rain and crazed drivers be damned.

Resolution Five: Find ways to be less stressed. This should be easy, what with the career uncertainty, LDR, current housing situation and fear of writer's block looming in the background.

Resolution Six: Change the current housing situation. We all love our families, which is why we don't live with them.

Resolution Seven: Bird more (new hobby), improve the ever-inadequate Spanish, actually send my thesis to people who were promised it last summer.

Resolution Eight: Stop feeling like I need a laundry list of resolutions.

Posts over the next few weeks will either be embarrassingly emotional, sporradic, or schizophrenic. With four days to go before CB flies back to England, I'm holding it together -- but every time I think of that impending drive to the airport, I feel more despair than I ever imagined I could bear without breaking. We will be fine, but that doesn't mean I have to be right now.

No comments: