Armageddon approacheth

We're not going to talk about Alito. I can't talk about Alito. I can't even think about Alito right now because it sends me into quivering fits of rage that are completely unsuitable in stiff upper-lipped England. Plus, it would frighten my flatmates.

So, lighter-hearted signs that the end of the world is nigh:

1. The freaking Seattle Seahawks are in the Superbowl. How the hell did that happen? It sort of ruins our reputation - other cities might be cursed because they can't win anymore, but we never won at all! It even makes me want to be a Seahawks fan for a day (and no more than that, apologies to all professional football acolytes).

2. The UPN and WB are merging into one large, unremarkably mediocre network. That's right, the network that brought you "The Mullets" and "Homeboys in Outer Space" and the network that introduced us all to "Dawson's Creek" (*retch*), "7th Heaven" (why won't you die?!?) and "Reba" are teaming up to bring us more intellectually insulting, poorly scripted television.

You know, after that last one, I feel like running into the kitchen and shoving the television off the refrigerator (it's a small kitchen). The worst part of globalization may be that countries can send their worst shows overseas now: hence, the UK sends the US the show that spawned "American Idol" (damn them), and the US sends us "Invasion" (sorry, not digging it). The day that we start swapping episodes of "Neighbors" and "Days of Our Lives," I may have to take out a few television satellites.