Now back to my other purpose in life

The political rant (sorry for all of you who don't enjoy these, but I have to get them out of my system once in awhile).

'Tis the season, and what a season -- we're reeling from earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes, wars, famines, environmental crises. You know what we really need right now? Screw that peace on earth and love your neighbor crap: we need wine baths.

Oh, you wish I was kidding.

I mean, how are we supposed to relax and enjoy the holidays when all of those annoying hurricane refugees are still huddling around FEMA tents and Red Cross shelters? Shouldn't they get off their asses and get jobs so they can rebuild their swampy excuse for a city themselves? It's not like they don't have time to job-hunt, right? And I'm certainly not going to spend my god-given, hard-earned cash on them when I can be smothered in cab sauv and left to bask beneath the rays of the indulgent desert sun. All those homeless people should be clamoring for jobs so they can enjoy the same delights - plus, the ingredients in wine are supposed to make you look younger, and I'm guessing that more than a few wrinkle lines have been left by those irritating forms they have to fill out every day.

I'm not saying that we should sell everything we own and give all the money to the poor (noble as that is, I'm too scared to do it myself, as I would then be relying upon someone else to do the same for me...). Seriously, though, would it kill us to forego flat-screen televisions, wine jacuzzis and state-of-the-art auto technology if it meant we could direct the money to something a little more important? Just a little??